Being on "Horse Time"
"We usually have two options with horses; we can either give them time to think, or wish we had." Mark Rashid
I've been reading a host of quotes like this. Slow down, be on "horse time."
Lately I haven't been great at that--the world of "gotta get this done" seems my modus operandi lately, often without me noticing. There's that pressure, my mind filled with a running monologue that--when I take the time to think about it--is already off in the future rather than right where I am at the time.
Dorian, predictably, isn't cool with that. In the run-up to my daughter's wedding, I felt like I was living five lives at once--take care of D. and Lily, get the novel revisions finished, finalize my new course for fall, write a blog post . . . no wonder I felt overwhelmed!
And on top of all that, I was moving forward with my Equine-Assisted Learning Workshop program, designing a whole new sequence of workshops and marketing them.
My friend Dixie intervened one day when she came out to the barn. She didn't know she'd intervened, of course, I just watched her "being" with Dorian and got a heads-up right away that I needed to change my style if I wanted him wrapping his big head around me affectionately as he was doing to her.
Here's the question I've been considering of late when I think about progressing or working with clients or students--Who are you? How many of us take the time to actually consider that?
And here's another question that comes on its heels: "How did you become who you are?"
Being with Dorian has motivated me, as I've said often before, to move into more and more depths-of-authenticity. It's not something the world encourages, certainly. But studies have shown there's a direct correlation between authenticity and positive outcomes like: improved physical and emotional health, increased life satisfaction, increased job performance and job satisfaction, increased positive interpersonal relationships, and more great things. That's a pretty amazing list of things, when you think about it.
And so, though I didn't need more than Dorian's presence in my life to convince me of this, I have come to conclude that authenticity is essential to well being and success.
Essential--that's a big word. But I'm going to make one more claim on top of that.
Yes, one study also found, there's a cost to authenticity. But that same study also noted that the cost didn't deter people who'd "found themselves" from pursuing it, and--even better--as folks continued living, out of their authenticity, the cost diminished.
I can't say I've mastered knowing who I am authentically, but I have learned one thing clearly--I didn't become who I am from any external factors. The more and more I get in touch with my true self, the more I realize that it's always been there--intact, whole, and healthy. And nothing I've supposedly "gone through" has damaged or touched that at all. In fact, the challenges just might have been the precise catalyst for positive revelation and change.
And so I've further concluded that it's not just discovering who you are that's essential, it's necessary, as well, to not be deterred from it. Making a commitment to ourselves to stay on course, no matter the challenges, and living from our authentic selves makes all the difference in whether or not we experience our lives as successful and happy, or . . . . well, I'm not going to even entertain its opposite!